Scantron / Licensed

After helping one of our Eastside agents with opens houses on the weekends, I became more eager to get my license. As a licensee, I'd have more freedom to help him and more help means more money. Having finished the course the week before, I was anxious to just get the test over. I felt like I knew the information so I made the decision to take it on October 28th. I bought two, online practice exams to make sure that I was prepared and I passed each exam on the first attempt. I was ready.

I set my alarm extra early so I could get ready. Of course, I hit the snooze button and ended up sleeping a little late. Oh well, I still made it to Herald Square with a little extra time. Of course, I wasn't thinking and started walking to 132 EAST 36th Street instead 132 WEST 36th Street. I got to the building at 9:06. Damn! So close to being on time.

I walk up to the building and it seems more like a run-down industrial building than a school. I take the stairs up to the second floor - it was actually much nicer inside. I went to the office and told them I was here to take the exam. Now this is the part that made me nervous, but the girl told me everything was fine and that I could go to Room D and just come back when I was done. Huh? There was no proctor. I just sat in a classroom with all my stuff and took the exam. Now, I'm a decent person and wouldn't cheat anyway, but it would have been so easy to take a quick peak here and there. The questions were worded differently than the online quizzes within the course. Most of the questions were pretty easy. A few were a little tricky, but nothing too hard. The math was challenging (as it always is for me) but there weren't too many math questions.

I made sure that I filled in all the questions, but didn't sit around to second guess my answers. I went back to the office and didn't what would happen next. I'm used to taking exams and then waiting a week to get the results. Nope! The secretary took out the scantron machine and scanned my sheet instantly. I'm shaking and feeling my heart race. "Ok. You passed. Here's your certificate. Good luck". Obviously, it was the news I wanted to here, but it was so anticlimactic.

I scheduled my DOS exam for the soonest possible time - November 9th. I felt a strong sense of confidence. I did well on the practice exam and study guides. I really didn't study much in between the two exams, aside from reviewing some of the trickier concepts. I showed up at the DOS building after brief, unplanned visits to the 9/11 Memorial and the Occupy Wall Street band of misfits (I get lost every time I go below 14th street). The room was the same one I had taken my notary exam. I was shocked at how easy the exam was! Well, I thought it was easy. I was the first person to leave. I looked just to see if everyone else was close to being done. The guy was next to me was on question 16 of 75. Ugh...you guys! This is so easy. After double-checking my work, I walked up and handed in my exam.

The hardest part of the exam process was waiting! I'd check for my score every five minutes even though I knew that it could take up to a week to find out. I finally got my score two days after taking the exam! I had passed! I was so excited that it was hard to contain, especially have taking both exams in secret. Tresa was so happy for me. After some paperwork, it was all official. I am now a license, real estate salesperson. Nothing much will change for now. I can't take listings or take on buyers. But I'll get some good experience! Once I'm ready, I'll be in a great position to thrive.

Wedding Magic in Maryland

I'm always happy when my friends get married. I was especially thrilled when I heard that Kristen and PJ were getting married. They stayed with me for a weekend when I lived in Harlem. She's so much fun(always has been - all the way back to our Quest days) and PJ was such a nice guy. I knew he was a keeper when he didn't mind going to Splash with us.

The wedding was this past weekend and it was wonderful! Antonio and I took a leisurely 5-hour drive from the busy streets of Manhattan to the quaint, charming town of Frederick, Maryland. The downtown area was so picturesque that it's hard to believe towns like this still exist. The ceremony was in an old, Episcopal church. I loved it! I feel so many wedding are lavish, over-the-top and border of gaudy. This was intimate and classic. It was a sunny day, which put the beautiful stained-glass windows on display. Kristen looked stunning in her sparkly, white dress (which I feel like I helped pick out months ago) and PJ looked dapper and handsome as ever.

After the ceremony we went back to the hotel to catch the shuttle to the reception. The mansion was a very intimate venue - lots of antique rooms and old-world charm. It was nice to see Mark and Theo were at our table. I will admit that I was surprised that they were the only two from Radford that I knew. The dancing was fun! Lots of old-school *NSYNC and Britney. PJ's dad was the best man and did a great job with the speech. I always get choked up when people get emotional. I loved seeing the mother / son dance! His mom seemed so sweet. I was shocked that Kristen's mom knew all the words to Only Girl (In The World) and was in her element on the dance floor. Definitely a fun family! I'm so happy for them and excited for their lives together.

Earlier on Saturday, I had just happened to check-in on Facebook at Panera. By chance, Brandon saw it and told Lora that I was in Maryland. She texted me and we met up for breakfast the next morning. It was SO good to see her! She's one of those friends that you move away from and don't see for years, but can laugh like old times instantly. It made me think about our Sunday evenings with tacos and Desperate Housewives. Or how we thought gluing puzzles and made beer-pong table was classy! Ooh, we were so silly back then. I would say that the beginning of our senior year was one of the best times of my life.

I have to say that one of my favorite parts of the weekend was the drive home. There's just something so fun about being in the car with Antonio. We're just singing and laughing. Even with two hours of traffic, it was so much fun! I love how we know all each other's inside jokes and can usually finish each other sentences with our favorite quotes from Bravo shows. Overall, it was such a fun weekend! Lots of all love all around.

Kardashian Kontroversy

Halloween delivered a very depressing trick when Kim Kardashian announced that she filed for divorced from husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries. It was a media explosion! the newspapers, blogs, and cable news channels focused on nothing but the impending divorce. Before the ink could dry on the paperwork, people began hurling insults and accusations.

The most common claim is that Kim and Kris married for the money. I have to admit that it's seems possible. It's reported that the couple made $17 million from the E! wedding special and the exclusive wedding photos and magazine interviews. However, I feel like the money is the effect, not the cause. I don't regularly watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but have been getting into it recently. From what I saw, Kim and Kris made a cute couple. Were they ready to get married? Probably not, but that doesn't necessarily mean they rushed to the altar to cash in on Kim's fame. Kim is famous for her beauty, her branding and her mother's talents as a manager. The Kardashians are on track to be a $1 billion brand thanks to their clothing, perfume, reality show, etc. $17 million is nothing when you look at the big picture.

Kim tweeted a letter to her fans that made a lot of sense to me. She claimed that she got caught up in the hoopla of the wedding. Even as she began to realize that the marriage was probably not a good idea, it was too late to do anything about it. I kinda see a wedding as a freight train. Once you get on, it's very difficult to get off. Imagine everything she and her family had done to prepare for the nuptials - the invitations, the location, the dress, the food. To call it off at the last minute would be humiliating. Add the cameras, contracts and constant tabloid fodder that comes along with being a celebrity to all the standard stress. I completely understand why she felt that she had no choice but to go through with the wedding, not that it's an excuse.

Critics also use the Kardashian wedding as an example of why it's unfair that straight couples can marry, but most gay couple can't. The opposition to gay marriage asserts that they are trying to protect the sanctity of marriage. Regardless of why Kim got married, divorcing after less than three months does little to protect the sanctity of marriage. Obviously, it goes without saying that I am a huge supporter of gay marriage. Given I'm gay and hope to get married one day, I'm in favor of all gay rights.

That being said, I don't see why people are attacking Kim based on federal and state laws that discriminate against gays. Kim is a gay icon - she's gorgeous, fabulous and very supportive of her gay fans. It's a shame that some gay advocates are using Kim as the poster child for failed, heterosexual marriage. I don't think we should blame Kim for exercising her right to get married. I think we should blame the politicians who create discriminatory laws that prevent equal rights for everyone.

At it's core, Kim and Kris' divorce will be a devastating ordeal for both of them. It's sad occasion and shouldn't be used for covers to sell magazines or jokes on late night TV. No one, aside from her friends and family, knows the real Kim. We, the general public, don't know anything about her life except for what she decides to show us. People claim that she's famous for nothing. Wrong! She's famous because millions of people find her beautiful and interesting enough to watch every Sunday on E! If you don't like her then just stop talking about her.

Halloween 2011

I didn't really intend on celebrating Halloween this year. Antonio and I didn't have costumes and neither did our friends. I figured the holiday would come and go unnoticed. As a surprise, Antonio bought us candy and pumpkins to carve. And by surprise, I mean that I dropped lots of hints. We spent Saturday afternoon scooping out pumpkin guts and carving faces. It was harder than I remember it being as a kid. I'm thinking that my parents must have scooped out the insides. It was a lot of fun! It must be mentioned that while carving pumpkins it was snowing all day. He traced his face, which I consider cheating. Oh well, it looked much better than mine did. Mine was a little lop-sideded, but I liked it. We roasted the pumpkins seeds. They turned out much better than I thought they would. With just a little butter and salt, it was a surprisingly tasty treat. We spent the afternoon eating lunch from Better Burger and watching Scream 4. It was dumb! The first movie in the franchise was good, but this was just silly. It was a little scary, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It was a nice low key weekend.

I spent the latter part of Sunday trying to figure out what I'd wear for the Corcoran Spooktacular. I thought that I could just do what I did last year - sexy soldier. That seemed like a cop-out. It would have been cheap - no inspiration. I had the idea to be a hipster. I joke about Brooklyn in the office a lot so it'd be funny. Finding everything I needed for my costume was a challenge. I found a pair of size 29, gray, straight-leg Levis. It was quite a squeeze and I couldn't zip or button them. But that's hipsters wear. They just don't have as much booty as I do. LOL. I had the white shirt and vest. I just had to go up to Urban Outfitters for the hat. I got the glasses at Ricky's. I was so happy that it all came together and I must admit that I actually kinda like the way it looks. As a hipster, I can't get too excited about it though.

Most people came in dressed up at work. Jackie was an spot-on impersonation of David Bowie from Labrynth, Martha was a hockey player, Mike was a golfer, Connie was the girl from Black Swan and Andy was a blood-thirsty Wall Street banker. It was a lot of fun! We paraded around the two other Corcoran floors in our building. Some of the agents laughed, but most were just confused. We had pizza and cake and most people had candy at their desks. Martha did a great job organizing everything. I love that I work for a company where they understand that these little things make such a big impact. Everyone loves working here because there is such a positive atmosphere.

While I didn't plan on doing much for Halloween this year, I ended up having a great time! Now I've got to head to the gym to make up for the pizza and candy corn. Stomach fat and love handles are the scariest part of Halloween.

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

Kelly Clarkson consistently releases amazing albums. Her fifth studio album, Stronger, is no exception. Kelly has evolved and changed with every album, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Thankful was her R&B, soulful debut. Breakaway was a powerhouse of pop/dance inspirational anthems and ballads. My December, with its hauntingly beautiful lyrics and pop/rock/punk arrangements, remains my all-time favorite Clarkson album. All I Ever Wanted felt a bit uneven - like a mixture of My December and Breakaway. It felt like she had to redeem herself from the commercial disappointment of My December. She really could go in any direction her latest release.

A few weeks ago, several tracks that were rumored to be from her new album hit the internet. I heard them and fell in love. As the October 24th release date drew closer, I became more and more excited. When I happened to turn my computer on around midnight on the 23rd, I was shocked to the album was automatically downloading in my iTunes queue. It's taken me almost a whole week to get through the album. It's not that I don't like it. It's just the first six songs are so amazing that I have them all on repeat. But I've finally heard them on and ready to deliver my review.

First of all, Kelly does and always does sound absolutely amazing! It is so refreshing to hear a beautiful voice without autotune and all the blips and beeps that usually accompany today's pop music. The arrangements are cross between My December and All I Ever Wanted. Nothing too pretty and poppy, but also not so dark and gloomy. Some tracks are calm and ethereal, while others are fast and fun. The only part of the album that is lacking are the lyrics on certain songs. Some are so beautiful and then some feel like they'd be more appropriate on a Hilary Duff album circa 2002.I also know that Kelly had writing credits on almost all the tracks on My December, but has had a lot more help with this album. I think there is a loss of authenticity when there are so many writers. It feels, at times, like a collection of songs and not a personal expression. The lyrical quality varies - there are some songs that make me want to cry because they are so vulnerable and raw. Others make me shutter and just dance along for the ride.

Let's break it down.

1) Mr. Know It All - This was probably not the best lead single. It's good but never quite revs up. It's like a big anthem that never hits that climactic note. It's definitely a good song, but just not what I'd expect her to pick to kick off the era.

2) What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) - This is, by far, one of the best tracks on the album. It's got that feel-good, take on the world, post-breakup anthem feel. Her voice is so powerful that you know she means business. She's over some guy and ready to strut down the street.

3) Dark Side - This was one of the songs that I'd heard when it leaked online. I love it! It's poppy, but still poignant. It starts out like a lullaby and then quickly kicks the roaring chorus. I love the message - I have a demons. Can you love me, the real me?

4) Honestly - This track reminds me of Sober from My December. It's quiet and painful. It has an achingly beautiful quality. This is definitely one of the best ballads on the album. "All I see are stepford-like lives / Needles and knives / Beautiful lies" - that line is sheer, introspective perfection.

5) You Love Me - If you think this song is about romance then you don't know Kelly. It's a powerful breakup anthem. I love the line "You didn't let me down. You didn't tear me apart. You just opened my eye while breaking my heart." It makes me think of a dysfunctional relationship where the guy twists everything around to make it seem like the other guy's fault.

6) Einstein - When I say that some of the songs lack lyrical maturity, I'm talking about this song. "Simple math, our love divided by the square root of pride / multiply your lies plus time I'm going out of my mind". Whew, that's rough. I feel like I'm back in math class in middle school. Lyrics aside, the song is actually really good. It's a little cheesy but it's fun and sassy. "I may not be Einstein, but I know dumb + dumb = you".

7) Standing in Front of You - This is a departure from the previous track. It's a quiet, almost whisper and it's soft like a cool pillow. I've heard others describe it as having an Imogene Heap feel. It took me some getting used to, but now I really appreciate it.

8) I Forgive You - Wow! First Oprah talks about forgiveness and now Kelly has a song about it. There's a line that really resonates, "I forgive you. We were just a couple of kids / Trying to figure out how to live / Doing it our way". It makes me think of Brian and all the times that I blamed him and he blamed. We both made mistakes and handled things poorly. Forgiving him is for both of us. It was a time in my life. I'm happy to have had it, but am also so incredibly happy where I am now.

9) Hello - There are times when I feel insignificant and as if no one is listening. This is why I love this track. "My heart concern is bleeding /Is there anybody, anybody? / Hello, hello/ Is anybody listening?" It's a great upbeat song that is just tinged with angst.

10) The War Is Over - Another great forgiveness track. It's about letting go and knowing when it's not worth it anymore. I remember that feeling of just thinking, "Wow. Yeah, this is over". It's a great song and has a strong, dignified tone. She's not laughing in the guy's face; she's just standing tall and walking away.

11) Let Me Down - If you don't want to take the calm approach to ending to a relationship, you could do it the way she does on this track. This is rocky, angry breakup song. I love this song.

12) You Can't Win - This is one of the most lyrically personal and sassy tracks on the album. It's a fun song but does have a good message. "If you're thin - Poor little walking disease / If you're not - They're all screaming obese / If you're straight - why aren't you married yet? / If you're gay why aren't you waving a flag?". She's really putting herself out there and I like that. The arrangement of the song isn't my favorite, but like the message.

13) Breaking Your Own Heart - A good closer to an amazing album. It's about blocking the things you want because you won't allow yourself to have them. You don't let people in, you're just breaking your own heart. I bet Oprah has a quote from Maya Angelou that would fit perfectly with this song.

Bonus Tracks

14) Don't You Wanna Stay - Country music isn't much a reach for Kelly. This duet with Jason Aldean is lovely. This is a love song and just doesn't quiet fit. The rest of the album is very post-breakup. It's weird to hear her sound so lovey-dovey.

15) Alone - She's back to her usual strong, angry self on this track. It's clever and fun! I picture her driving down the road in a convertible with the wind blowing her hair. This song is freedom personified.

16) Don't Be A Girl About It - Hmmm....this song seems borderline offensive to me. It's fun, but also makes it seem like girls are weak and emotional. I'm still on the fence about this song even though she does some smooth vocalizations that I've never heard do before. It's fun

17) The Sun Will Rise - This is another country-esque song. It's an inspirational duet with Kara DioGuardi. I'll need to give it a few more listens, but I could see it making me feel better on a rough day.

18) Why Don't You Try - With this song, we're right back where we started - Thankful. This is a soulful, slow jam! It also sounds a lot like Where Is Your Heart from Breakaway.


This album is a triumph for Kelly. This album is a good fusion of all her styles. It's got a little bit for everyone. With wonderful vocals and real instruments, it's hard to go wrong. While the lyrics on some tracks leave something to be desired, the album is solid. The soul of the album is what makes it so radiant and enjoyable.

Toddlers, Tiaras, and Trauma

On Friday, Anderson Cooper featured the mothers and daughters of Toddlers and Tiaras. I must admit that I had pretty much made up my mind before he even invited the guests on stage, but I give him credit for remaining as objective as possible. The mother's presented their view that their daughter's love to perform and wear costumes. They discounted the arguments that beauty pageants sexualize children or attract pedophiles. They made a somewhat compelling point that parents push their kids in any activity, whether it be pageants, gymnastics, spelling bees, etc. The audience, which included a psychologist, pretty much let the parents have it for a seemingly oblivious view of the negative consequences of the kiddie pageant circuit.

I can see both sides of the argument. I would imagine that lots of little girls like to play dress up. I have no problem with that. I would also bet that the mothers' argument that pageants have very tight security. There are no random creepers in the audience; just authorized friends and family. I have no problem there either. While some parents may be living vicariously through their children, I'm sure it's not the case for all parents. Even for the parents who are pushing their kids, it's not really different from making them study hard in school or practice in sports. It's not necessarily a good thing, but it isn't isolated to only pageants.

My issue is with the potential for damage in the future. Oprah did an episode of Life class recently on aging and that harm caused when people base their self-worth on their self-image. These little girls are so cute! I'll admit it. They're adorable. I can't help but think that the winners and losers of these pageants eventually all wind up losing. The ones who lose the pageants must not be good enough. But they didn't lose a chess match or a volleyball, they lost a beauty pageant. What does that do to their self-esteem?

So the girls without the crowns lose, but the winners can also lose. Some would argue that it's great for their self-esteem. But I'm thinking about what happens later. Puberty and adulthood causes about a whole host of challenges. Acne, crooked teeth, weight gain, wrinkles are just some of the many things that teens and adults deal with. What happens to a child who was raised in an environment where their appearance is so highly valued? How do they cope with the changes? I think this is one of the dangers of pageants. Developing a healthy self-image is hard enough for average people. When you combine the already difficult challenge of being confident in yourself with an upbringing that associated winning with beauty, it has the potential for disaster.

I also wonder about what the children are being taught at the pageants. On Anderson, we saw a video of one of the mothers telling her to smile and pose for the judges. They are learning to seek out the approval of others. If they want to win, they need to look cute and put on an act for others. I'm thinking of when they're 17 and dating a boy who wants to have sex. They have already learned they need to impress people in order to succeed. I could see a dangerous pattern of unhealthy choices in order to please other and attain their approval.

Who knows what is right? Only the parents can make these decisions for what is right with their children. I just hope parents can make objective decisions without getting sucked into the glitz and glamour.

Test Time

I finished my real estate course in what feels like lightning speed. I started it on Sunday, September 18th and finished it yesterday, Thursday, October 20th. Learning 75 hours worth of information in about a month is astonishing. The crazy thing is that I really feel that I understand the concepts and remember most of the information.

I had spent so many hours at home and work learning all the necessary information. I'm actually a little sad that it's over. The course, offered through NYREI, is so well designed. The mini quizzes, video lectures, and detailed outlines made learning the information easy and fun.

Now comes the part that scares me. I have to take the school's exam and get a certain score in order to receive permission to take the actual licensing test through the Department of State. Of course the exams themselves are going to be stressful, but it's what comes after the exam that has really got me nervous.

In what may have been naivety on my part, I didn't realize that I can't be "staff' and an "agent" at the same time. It's one or the other. That was kind of a big monkey wrench in my plan. I love my job and the people with whom I work. I've only been here for seven months. I can't just quit, nor do I want to! The thought of not having a steady paycheck is terrifying, especially since my emergency fund only has $300. I'm going to stay put for quite some time.

But, the nagging thought is there. What is going to happen? Will I be successful? When will I finally make the jump and start doing what I think / hope I will love? What if I don't like it?

There was a certain safety net while I was going through the course. I felt like I could say, "well, I'm still studying so it'll be a while before I become an agent." That roadblock is gone, though I am going to heavily review before I take the exams. I'd like to avoid failing the first time (like I did with my learner's permit). But it's really all up to me now. My future is in my hands.