Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Kristen and PJ

I rarely go out. And this past Friday was a reminder of why I need to wake up and go out more often. My friend and former QA, Kristen, and her boyfriend, PJ, ventured on the Megabus for a fun weekend in NYC. They had plans with lots of people, but spent Friday night with me. There were so moments that are ridiculous and hilarious and memorable all at the same time. Here are some of my faves:

1) Remembering our lines from the Quest play at a dive bar that we're pretty sure catered to lesbians. "Don't be a Fokie - a fake Hokie - take off the Tech gear"

2) Seeing PJ get his ear licked by the gay bartender as Splash. Though, to be honest, I didn't see it and didn't know why Kristen was laughing so hard.

3) Dancing with an old lady who was pretty into me AND dancing with some guy who kept feeling my abs and trying to his finger...let's just say somewhere it doesn't belong without first buying me something shiny and expensive.

4) Begging our cab driver to pretend we were on the cash cab. It doesn't get better than trying to answer questions from and Indian with an uber thick accent. It only got better when Kristen drunk dialed her sister as her "mobile shout out".

5) Me making a case in the elevator as to why there should be stores open 24 hours a day that sell bread and cheese so that grilled cheese can be made at any hour. I'm sure the other people in my building were loving it.

6) Kristen trying to do pull-ups at 3:00 before passing out on my dilapidated air mattress - sorry guys :-(

7) Waking up and walking into the bathroom only to hear a tapping at the door and having Kirsten walk in because she, very calmly and matter of factly, decides that she needs to throw up.

8) The general, over consumption of drinks with names that don't really correlate - tic-tac’s, screwdriver, kamikazes. Really...who's naming these delicious drinks?

9) Catching up and reliving some great memories of the good ole days at Radford.

10) Learning that Kristen reads my blog and then summarizes them for PJ. It's kind of hard to write about my weekend with them and to know that they'll read it later. What do you think guys? Did I capture the essence of last Friday, which I would describe as crazy, comical and uber fun?

Thursday, April 22, 2010


I was one of the first people to jump on board Rihanna's new sound. When everyone was complaining that her album, Rated R, was going to be a dud, I was rocking out to it. One of my favorite songs on the album was, and still is, Rudeboy. It's a fun, dirty, kinky song about, what else, sex!

Now don't get me wrong, I am right there with her. Can you get it up? Is it big enough? These are very important questions! But here comes the problem. My little sister called me three times on my cell phone the other day at work. I ignored the calls and waited for her voicemail. She asked me if she could buy Rudeboy on iTunes for a "school project". Of course, I instantly called me mom and asked her if she knew what her daughter was listening to. She told me that she already told Renee that she can't listen to that song.

Being a parent these days is practically. Katherine asked me what the odds were that she hasn't already heard that song. And she's right - I'm sure Renee has heard the song. But that raises so many questions...disturbing questions. I hope and pray that she doesn't know what Rihanna means when she asks if he can get it up and if it's big enough. When I was twelve I listened to Cathy's Clown, And Still and other great Reba McEntire classics. My little sister is twelve and she listens to Bad Romance, Rudeboy and Lean Like a Cholo (I've never heard that song, nor do I know what a cholo is).

Oh how times have changed.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Paintball Warfare

A while ago I wrote that I wanted to join the army. I wanted a rush and danger and excitement. Well, I found something that offers all those things and doesn't involve fighting terrorism. PAINTBALL! Aunt Faith invited me up to Connecticut for Uncle Ed's surprise 40th paintball birthday party! She is such an amazing woman who puts her all into her family.

This past weekend I met my Dad at Penn Station and took the train up to CT. I did the worst possible job packing - so ungay. I only brought one pair of pants. What was I thinking? I guess I figured the paintball place would give use jumpsuits or something. Nope. I suited up in jeans and an Abercrombie, long-sleeve tee. Not exactly the most macho outfit. But, my uncle gave me a vest and flannel jacket...and now I'm a lesbian.

But, we got the range and I was uber nervous. Once we got our masks and guns we had to test them. Every time someone fired I jumped. The first game was a warm up - we were on a course with dozens of inflatable things to hide behind. I got shot in the hand, but it didn't hurt too much. I really hit my stride in the second round - killing at least 4 people. I felt just like an SWAT team member from Rainbow Six. The third and fourth rounds were on a different course with lots of tires and wooden shields. In the third rounds, I got shot and headed to the dead zone with my hands in the hard only to continue being shot at in the legs. In the fourth round, my mask fogged up. Everything was a huge blur! I was essentially useless and just sat in one of the forts while everyone else went crazy.

One of the most fun courses was the castle. One team defended a castle at the top of a hill, while the other team tried to storm the castle. Think - beaches of Normandy during WWII. My team defended first. It was fun, but it was pretty easy. We just picked the other team off one by one until we won. Then we switch sides. My cousin, John, and I had a plan to advance forward. We'd take turn running ahead while the other provided suppressive fire (if that's even the correct terminology). I made it pretty far until I looked to my left and saw someone from the opposite team coming around the side. I didn't stand a chance!

The last round was Pain or Paint. You had kept going until your ran out of paintballs or until you simply couldn't take the pain of getting shot. I took cover behind a wooden fence. I would take turns shooting the people on the left and right sides. I got hit in the arm and it hurt like hell. I took off the flannel jacket because I was so hot, but that mean that there was less to soften to the blow. I hit quite a few people and our team won before I could really cause some damage. Before the round ended, I remember getting hit right over my eye on mask. It was red paintball and splattered - all I could see was red, just like blood.

The best part was the sheet excitement. I remember hearing the paintballs wiz past my head and hearing them slam into the wood and splatter. I remember tasting the paint as I would get shot in the mouth. Just waiting for someone to make a wrong move so you can pull the trigger and hear the sweet sound of semi-automatic paintball fire is such a rush. It was tense and serious and dangerous and exhilarating. I found a paintball place in Queens, so I can see a trip with my crew soon.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Twenty Three

I've never been a fan of my birthday. As much as I joke around, I hate being the center of attention. For my last two birthdays, I've been so hung up on my relationship that I didn't really enjoy my birthday. But this year was a fresh start. I had a great birthday!

I took a half day off from work. Mom and Renee called at 7:00, but I was already up and eating breakfast. They're really great. I really do have an amazing family. I trained with Jimmy at 8:00, which was great as usual. I went home for my second breakfast and popped in Madonna's Sticky and Sweet Tour DVD. I blasted the music and danced around the dining room.

I got to work to find presents and cards at my desk. Susan got me a nice card and Katherine got me a new, bigger (to fit my new muscles) polo and a nice card with a hand-written rhyming poem. They bought a cake - I could tell something was up. Then everyone gathered in the conference, which was uber awkward. Swann, Susan, and Katherine were all hugs and happy and genuine. Sealfon and Carol just kinda stood there and neither of them said happy birthday, which is kinda standard. I found out later that Carol was saying that she didn't know why she was there because no one is nice to her in the department.

Finally, the day ended and Katherine and I headed downtown. We had to take a letter train (oh, the horror). We went to Friday's in Time Square for dinner before heading to the theatre at 7:30 to see Promises, Promises. We had great mezzanine seats and they were on the aisle, which is my favorite.

The show was amazing! I was so nervous that an understudy was going to replace one of the stars - Sean Hayes (Will and Grace) and Kristen Chenoweth (Wicked, Glee, The West Wing). But, they were both there. The show is the story of a young employee in a big company (like me) who has an apartment that he lends out to the executives so they can cheat on their wives. He is in love with Kristen Chenoweth who works in the dining room at the company. We later learn that she is in love with one of the married executives with whom she's having an affair (like the past). She is in Chuck's (Sean Hayes) apt after the executive leaves to be with his family (ugh...douche) and she tries to kill herself by taking pills. Chuck finds her, saves her, and they fall in love in the end. Perfect ending! Kristen Chenoweth is a Broadway legend! Her singing and acting was superb. Sean Hayes really surprised me with his voice. His comedy, as expected, was hilarious. It was funny and sad and amazing!

Good workout, dancing around to Madonna, party at work, dinner and a show with a great friend! I had a dozens of people post on my wall - it's nice to not be forgotten even though I'm not at Radford anymore. Some of my best friends (Spencer, Erin, Lora, Skeens) texted me. Erin even baked me an apple pie! It doesn't get better than that!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Chuck and Blair

I identified with Chuck and Blair. They were the couple that had to work so hard to make things work. They were in love and if they could both just realize it, then everything would be perfect. When they finally began dating, I felt a glimmer of hope. I, naively, believed that the right people would be together and love would conquer all. Once again, reality sets in and I can see the truth. Chuck and Blair broke up last week because Chuck traded Blair to his older cousin to regain his hotel empire. Obviously, trading sexual favors does little to cement a relationship. I yelled at the television for Blair to forgive Chuck and let everything be perfect again. But, that's not what happened. Blair realized that she wasn't happy with Chuck. He didn't make her a better person. He pulled her down and influenced her to be the worst possible version of herself.

That really got me thinking. I can relate with Blair - I overlooked things, I repressed my own unhappiness, and I put on a brave face for the person that I thought I wanted. Sometimes we are so determined to get the one person we want the most that we don't realize that the person isn't the person with whom we're supposed to be. I've done things that I never thought that I would do. I've found myself being elated at other people's pain. I loved Brian so much, but he really brought out the worst in me. Of course that side of me was there before him and it's still there, but I'd never seen it until him.

It's not often that I get a deep, life lesson from Gossip Girl. Usually, it's passionate sex, juicy scandals and jaw-dropping drama. But tonight was different. It helped me see that sometimes fighting for a relationship just to fight for it doesn't make any sense. Sometimes the thing that we start out wanting so badly isn't the thing we really want.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Reigniting the Fuse

They say that some people never learn. I guess I could consider myself one of those people. I had decided to stop taking my N.O.Xplode after taking a double dose of and feeling shaky and tired. But, I spent $30 on it and didn't want to just give up. Spencer said that maybe I psyched myself out. Since I was a little nervous about taking it to begin with, my mind just invented the symptoms. And since I'm a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, it made sense to me.

So, I decided to cut the dose in half (1 scoop instead of 2) and see how that worked. I still felt a little jittery but nothing serious. AND, when I got to the gym, OMG! I was like a machine. I just couldn't stop. When I was doing abs, I did over 300 crunches and sit-ups. When I did legs, I did over 200 squats on the bosu. I just kept going. I wasn't getting tired. I just kept pushing and it felt amazing. When I take one scoop, I feel invincible.

I took it this afternoon before training with Jimmy and I felt unstoppable. Today we tried to some new exercises. For one, Jimmy held a 45lb weight to his chest and leaned back and had me use my legs to push him to the other side of the gym and back. Then he had me put paper towels under my feet and use my arms to drag myself to the far of the gym and back without my legs touching the ground. I had quite an audience, which really got my pumped.

Now that I've figured out the proper dosage of N.O.Xplode for my body, I think I'm going to really hit my stride and make some big gains in the next two months.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Sticky and Sweet

I can see with certainty that seeing the Sticky and Sweet tour from the 14th row from the stage and 8 seats from the end of the runway was probably the best moment of my life. The songs, costumes, choreography and energy were all intoxicating. I remember not sitting down for the entire two and a half hour show. I was screaming and dancing and jumping and down. It was electric.

I was somewhat disappointed with the release of the Sticky and Sweet Tour DVD. It's amazing, don't get me wrong, but it fails to capture the energy and excitement of the live show. Is this Madonna's fault? No, of course not. I think it would be impossible to recreate in someone's living room the feeling of being in the same venue as the Queen of Pop and 15,000 fans.

I now regret not seeing The Confessions Tour because I can only imagine orgasmic that show would have been live. Oh well, there's always the next tour, which is supposed to take place in 2011. Until then, I'll have to be satiated with the pics and memories of that amazing night in November 2008 because the CD/DVD just doesn't do that amazing show justice.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Tonight was my first workout with N.O.Xplode. I was so excited for this surge of energy and boost in strength. Instead, I felt somewhat dizzy and shaky. It felt like I had taken about a dozen 5-Hour Energy shots. I had a great workout, but I don't think it had anything to do with the supplement. I think that determination and a great iPod playlist can do just as much for inspiring a great workout as any supplement.

I pushed myself until I was soaked with sweat and uber sore. When I got home I felt tired. It's as if I felt the crash from taking an energy drink without the benefits of an energy drink. And I still have this weird feeling in my chest - almost like indigestion.

I thought that the whole situation could be in my head. I was somewhat nervous about taking the supplement and that fear created all the negative side effects. But, I don't think that's it. I've decided to not try it again. If all this is going to do is make me shaky and hungry, then it's not worth it. Jimmy's going to give me the name of another supplement that will help me bulk up without the negative side effects tomorrow.

The N.O.-Xplode imploded and won't be part of my arsenal anymore.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Before the Explosion

I've been training with Jimmy and working out on my own hardcore since September 2009. I've seen huge improvements and I'm happy with the changes that I'm seeing. But I'm impatient. I want to see my arms and chest and thighs get bigger now! I've increased my breakfast to 1 egg, 5 egg whites scrambled wit hotsauce and two packets of oatmeal. I go hard in the gym and go 4-5 days a week. I have protein shakes with breakfast and amino acids after workouts.

Joey told me that he uses a supplement called N.O.-Xplode. I checked it out and they sell it on GNC and Jimmy said that it's fine. I ordered it and get it in the mail yesterday. I'm hoping to see some big changes in the next 8 weeks.

This pic is where I am now. Let's see what I can do with N.O.-Xplode in the next 8 weeks.