Saturday, May 30, 2009

Drug of Choice

I graduated. As I continue to apply for jobs after the big let down that was Avalere, I find myself developing an addiction. I'm too classy to do drugs and too much of a lightweight to drink. No, my drug of choice is my email. In the hours following a bender of filling out numerous job applications, I find myself staring at my inbox. Waiting. At work, I check my phone at least once an hour in hopes that someone will call and say that I am their ideal candidate and want to meet me in their DC office.

I guess that is the downside of being finished with college. No more quizzes, papers or classes. With all this free time, I have nothing better to do than wait for someone to call and offer me a job. Even when I make the decision that I must turn the computer off, I just can't seem step away. I hope someone will call / email me soon to tell me they'd like to meet with me. Only then do I think will be on the road to recovery.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I was so excited for my interview in DC this week. I waited anxiously for the itinerary only to get a phone call from the same woman who did my phone interview to let me know they decided not to fill the position. Is it me or does it make sense to know if you want to hire someone before you start doing phone interviews? Maybe it's just me.

This wasn't my dream job. It was more so just a way to get my foot in the door, but I'm really disappointed. I was so excited about moving to DC, working, and being fabulous (Like SJP in Sex and the City). I don't want my life to stagnate. I want to grow and develop.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon filling out countless applications on Monster and USAJOBS. I even inquired about a few positions I saw on Craigslist and one that I just randomly emailed because the group seemed interesting.

What does it take to find a decent job these days?

UPDATE: I think all the job posting on Craigslist are scams. F my life.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Left Behind

I hear people talking about how badly they can't wait until they get out of Radford. How bad is it? I don't get it. Sure, the scenery hasn't changed much in the last four years. Sure, there isn't much to do. But, it's not a bad place to live. It's quite, affordable, and safe (relatively). I don't understand why people are so anxious to abandon the place I've called home since I was a freshman.

That being said, I can't wait to move. Hypocritical? No. I love Radford and have enjoyed living here, but I need to move on. I need to find a job that pays well in a city that has more to offer. Radford is a wonderful place, but it's not where I need to be at this point in my life. You can only grow so much in one place. In order to continue growing and challenging myself, I need to step outside my comfort zone. I need to face my face and experience the unknown.

This sense of longing to move on creates the nagging fear of being left behind. My one roommate, Lora, got a job in Florida. She moved out this morning and is settling into her new home and life. I'm envious. My apartment doesn't feel like home anymore. Without her here, it's just feels like a place that I'm staying at temporarily. I'm anxious to start my new life. I want a chic studio in DC with a rewarding job and a daily commute on the Metro.

I feel like there is an unspoken sense of failure if I stay in Radford. I believe that it would be a much bigger risk to move to some random city without first finding a job and an apartment, but that's me. I don't want to be that guy who couldn't cut the apron strings. I don't want to be the guy who never leaves the college town.

I feel like everyone has a plan. Some of my friends are getting their Master's degree, some are working, some are traveling, some are teaching in China. What am I doing? I don't know. That answer was fine during sophomore and junior year. But, I'm done with college. That answer doesn't work anymore. I need to find my place in...the world. God, that sounds so cliché, but it's true. I don't want to be left behind.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


I accept that college is over. I accept that I'm done with undergraduate classes forever. I'm happy that's it over. I'm glad that I'm done with scantrons and essays and quizzes. It's the other part of college that I'm gonna miss.

My one roommate / best friend, Lora, is moving out in the morning. She got a great job with her boyfriend's mom at a mortgage firm in Jacksonville. I couldn't be happier for her because I know the people she'll be with and location she'll be living at will be perfect for her.However, I'm really sad. I've known her for over two years and we've gotten really close. She cracks me up on a daily basis, even if she's trying to be serious. She's always there to make dinner, watch our shows, and dance and sing around the apartment. She's just a goofy person that lets me be myself.

It's going to be hard without having her around. We've had so many good times. I know it's typical to say that you're gonna keep in contact with your high school friends and then never do. I hope it's different for college. My older sister is still friends with a few of her college friends and I really hope Lora and I stay close.

I find maintaining personal relationships pretty tiring. Therefore, if I feel that someone is worth the effort, I give it my all. There are very few people that I consistently make time for (they know who they are). Even if we don't see each other as often as we'd like, I know that the past two and a half years of my life have been so much more fun and exciting because of her.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The End of the Beginning...

Madonna once said on the last show of the Re-Invention Tour was the end...or the beginning, depending on how you look at it. As the fact that I now done with college has finally sunk in, I find myself coming to the same conclusion. College was just the beginning and I've reached the end of that experience. Over the past four years, I've grown and changed so much. I see myself as a completely different person. But, I don't want to focus on the past. What has happened in the past is in the past. I've made mistakes, but everything I've done has made me who I am. So, I'd like to look to the future.

I don't know who's going to be there and who isn't, but I know that I'm excited. I've got an interview with Avalere Health LLC next week in DC. I'm anxious and scared and happy and excited. I find myself experiencing all these different emotions. If I am lucky enough to get the job, I am looking forward to a new life in a bigger city with more independence. Starting my life in the real world is something that I have been looking forward to for a while. Of course, with that freedom comes more responsibility. I won't be taking three classes and working a few shifts at the bookstore. I'll have a real job with real responsibilities. I'll have to worry about paying rent (in a city with a cost of living 63% higher than where I currently live), car insurance, cell phones bills. I'll have to worry about health insurance, taxes, and all those other things that I my mom (she's a friggin' saint) has been taking care of for me for the last 22 years.

I guess this is the end of one phase of my life and the beginning of another. It's scary and exciting. I'll just try to take a page from the queen of reinvention playbook. It's another challenge and I'll have to rise and conquer it.