I think there are always those albums that you listen to when you're in a relationship that become impossible to listen to after the relationship ends. That's certainly true for me. For me, there are three albums that just feel like a bullet in my heart. They are: Kelly Clarkson's My December, John Mayer's Continuum, and Justin Timberlake's FutureSex/LoveSounds. Each of those albums make me shutter.
Kelly's album was perfect at first. Never Again was my jilted lover anthem and it made me feel great. In fact, most of the songs are okay. There's one song, Be Still, that just gets me every time. It's about just laying there next to the person you love. I can remember how good that used to feel. There another song, Maybe, that hurts. Maybe defined my life. My life was a constant maybe. Sober was another song that resonated with me. There's one line when she says, "three months and I'm still not over it". Honey, try three years and I'm still not over it. Even though it's hard to listen to, I'm trying. Musically and lyrically, it's a fantastic album. I'm actually going to listen to it tonight. I've got to get past it.
Next, John Mayer's Continuum. OMG, I was so in love with this album because Brian was so in love with it. Lyrically, it's really smart. The melody's are mellow and relaxing. John's voice is okay, kinda bland. But, this is the album that makes me stop breathing. Vultures and Gravity, I can just imagine Brian listening to these songs. I could never tell if these songs were about love working out or falling apart. It got so bad that I had to delete the album (which I paid for) and throw away the hard copy. Ever since then, I have hated John Mayer and everything he's done. I think it's a defense mechanism. It's easier to hate someone I've never met than to address the feelings behind hating a stranger's music.
Lastly, Justin's second album. My Love was my anthem. He sings, "Baby just say I do". I would always change the lyrics to, "Baby just say I DON'T" for obvious reasons. The lyrics don't really deal with relationships that much, but it's just the vibe and the memories that emanate from the album. It brings back so many memories from 200 Robey Street, Apartment B. It's a shame. These are three great albums, but I just can't seem to listen to them without getting emotions.
But, memories come and go. I find that I've got new albums and new memories. I've got Mariah's Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel and Whitney's I Look To You. Of course, both albums both remind me of Brian, but they also remind me of NYC. I remember seeing the Mariah posters all over the city and seeing Whitney in Central Park.
It's so crazy how a song can bring back to such a specific place in time.
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