Objectification

Interesting story. I was helping out at an MS seminar at work. One of the participants was on older gentleman. I was helping set up and make sure everyone signed in and felt comfortable. He started talking to me. I made small talk to be polite. He then started complimenting...a lot. At one point he put his hand on my wrist and said I was great, fantastic or something like that. My thought was that he was very perceptive. But, then I realized that it didn't offend me that he was flirting and touching my hand. Let me be clear, nothing would ever have happened. He was older, not attractive to me and just seemed a little odd.

I started thinking about it. Why didn't I get mad? Why did I take his compliments and touch on the wrist? I told Katherine about it and she told me what she would have done. She was would have cocked her head to the side, said "excuse me" and, most likely, slapped the guy. Well, she probably wouldn't have hit him, but you get the idea. This really got me thinking?

Why do women tend to be repulsed by flirting and sexual compliments? Again, to be clear, nothing the guy said to me was overtly sexual (aside from a comment about spanking, which I think was innocent). If I guy told me I was gorgeous and he wanted to sleep with me, I'd be flattered. I wouldn't do anything, but I wouldn't be offended.

Is it me? Or do all men enjoy being flirted with and receiving compliments? Why do we enjoy being objectified while women hate it?

Big is Beautiful?

Let's be honest. No, it's not. Spence and I were watching Taboo on Nat Geo tonight - this week's episode focused on fat people. They posed some interesting questions. But the most interesting segment argued that some interest groups are trying to change the way fat people are viewed in the United States.

Why should we remove the stigma around fat? Life is all about choices. Eggs whites and a protein shake or egg McMuffin and Starbucks latte? Take the stairs or the escalator? Go to the gym after work or go home and watch TV? Eat ice cream before bed or have some low fat vanilla yogurt?

Is it hard to be in shape? Yes! It takes hard work and dedication. There are so many times when I would rather stay home than walk to the gym in the cold. There are so many times when I would love a big bowl of Bryers Coffee ice cream, rather than a bowl of apple sauce with cinnamon.

I would never make fun of a fat person (well...I would if I were around Lora). Seriously though, I would never criticize a fat person, but, at the same time, I don't think they should try to change the ideal of beauty. In our society, tight and toned bodies are sexy. If you want to be beautiful, don't complaining and work at it. If you don't want eat right and exercise, that's totally your choice. But don't expect society's view of beauty to change to make you feel good about yourself.

Questions

So...I go to the New Year's Eve party not really thinking too much into it. But the midnight kiss and subsequent make-out session seems to have confused things. It doesn't help that I then ask him to go a museum, which then then turned into coffee, which then turned into multiple texts a day. Now I've got so many questions.

Does he like me? Do I like him? Or do I simply want someone there to take away the memory of Brian? Am I going to be honest with myself or just take the feelings that I have / had from Brian and project them on Chris? Do I even want a boyfriend?

See! It's so confusing. It's ironic too. I like being by myself and yet I'm lonely. And now there is someone who could possibly take that emptiness away and I'm afraid of it. Why is that? This is what I think. When I was with Brian, I was so devoted and had these grand visions in my mind. I could picture our wedding, family, life, etc. Obviously that was naive. But, I think now I have this jaded view of relationships. Now, rather than plan for the future, I figure that it won't work out anyway so there's no point in trying. Oh my God, I am so messsed up. This also brings up another question. Is anyone really going to want to put up with all the baggage?

I want to take things slow and try to figure out the answers to all these questions.

Ringin' in the New Year

For most of my life I've spent New Year's Eve with my family. We'd sit and watch the ball drop from Times Square. The last two years, I spent it in Radford and not doing anything special. Since this was my first New Year's Eve in New York I figured it'd be good to do something adventurous. I thought I'd just go clubbing downtown and have a good time. But, Chris messaged me and asked if I'd like to go to a party at his friend's apt in Brooklyn.

And what an adventure it was! I went up to his place since he was close to the express. We stopped at Pathmark and got chips and grapefruit juice. The lines were so long and the old man who was at the register refused to show his ID. This man was at least 70, but they wouldn't sell him the beer. OMG. Really? Anyway, we take the subway and transfer twice and then walk a few blocks.

Everything about the party was amazing! Olga and Max made such amazing food and the people where so cool. I met this girl named Alisa who was amazing. I would absolutely love to hang out with her again. There were two girls who looked the same and I kept getting their names mixed up. After discussing how I wore carpenter pants as a kid (and since I'm from the "midwest"), Yana is going to be a welder and I'm going to be a carpenter for Halloween next year. Of course it's not gonna happen, but it was still funny. Everyone was just really nice and fun and receptive.

Right before midnight, we all got glasses of champagne and watched the ball drop on TV. Of course, you're supposed to kiss someone at the stroke of midnight. All I remember was walking up to Chris and making out with him. It was nice. Then...I got sick. OMG! This is so me. Eventually, all I wanted to do was go home. This was difficult because Brooklyn seemed so far from Manhattan. After saying our goodbyes and thank yous, we left.

The ride back to the city was crazy. Chris and I were making out on the subway and on the platform while we waited for our transfer. At one point, I think his hand slid down my pants, much to the horror of an eldery straight couple. The details are still kinda hazy thanks to the vodak. It was so incredibly not and me and so hot. We met some guy who was also drunk. He told us about this great bar, but we were both done for the night. He told us how he wanted to find a nice girl. I find that everyone is looking for someone?

We get back to Chris' apartment and go to bed. We didn't have sex and I'm glad about that. I think I would have regretted it in the morning. I'm also impressed with him. It shows me that he has self-respect and standards. I was surprised because...well, I mean I look good in my underwear and I'm not used to hearing the word "no". I'm not really looking for a boyfriend right now, so I don't really see this going anywhere. But who knows? He's a nice guy. I'll just let things play out. We'll probably just be friends, but I guess we'll see.

Parties. Throwing up. Making out on the subway. Cuddling. What a way to start 2010.