Never Done

Cupcakes are done when you put a knife and the middle and the knife comes out clean. Chicken is done when you cut it in half and the center is no longer pink. For so many things, it's easy to tell when it is done. But what about people? How can you tell when you're done?

Antonio and I joke about how the gays love to go to the gym. It's true. Go down to Chelsea on a Friday night and you'll feel like you're stepping onto a photo shoot for the new A&F quarterly. It's intimidating and does a number on your self-esteem. Sure they're fun to look at and maybe even drool over, but when does that becoming damaging?

I now go to the gym 7 days a week. I have a strict routine on a rotating cycle so that each muscle group is worked just enough and always plan for yoga on Sunday nights. I take supplements before I go to the gym to help strengthen my workout. I take supplements after my workout to repair and build my muscles. And to be honest, I truly enjoy it. I love the feeling I get before I go to the gym. I think it's exciting to see the transformation.

But when does that become too much? When will I be happy with myself? When will I stop overanalyzing every part of my body in the mirror? I tell myself it's when I look like the Armani ad in the Meatpacking District (half joking). Even as I sit on my bed typing this, I'm looking at my abs and wish the skin was the tighter. I look out the window and catch a glimpse of my arm and wish it was bigger.

I tell myself that I just have to keep working hard and then one day it will all be worth it. When do you cross over from healthy, body maintenance into an unhealthy, obsessive quest? As Antonio says, "maybe you should analyze that."

I'll ponder these things for a while and try to come up with an answer. But, I should go to bed - I've got to have energy for the day. Today is biceps, triceps and obliques.