Clerkship Coordinator

When I see a good idea, I jump on it. Recently Katherine found out that she couldn't work with both the residents and the medical students. The residency programs needs someone full time, so she had to drop the medical students and when she did I was more than willing to pick them up.

After careful consideration and talking with Dr. Sealfon, we agreed to give the medical students to me. I'm the new Clerkship Coordinator. This is such a great opportunity. It will look great on my resume and it allows me to explore Sinai and take on more responsibility. Unfortunately, they can't increase my salary just yet, but we're gonna renegotiate that after I've proven that I can handle both positions (Executive Assistant and Clerkship Coordinator).

I'm pretty excited! I've already started working with the students - doing evaluations and stuff. It's a lot of organization and stuff to learn, but I think it'll be fun. The only thing is that I'm pretty nervous. I can't fuck anything up.

As Katherine put it, "If you fuck this up, I will fuck YOU up."

Beauty Killer

If you were to ask most people what kind of music I like, I can predict the answers you would receive. Madonna, Britney, Cher, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, etc. I like divas! I like pretty, pop music about love and dancing and having fun. I like songs about glamour and fashion. If a song mentions a fashion designers name, you can rest assured that I love it.

However, I recently found something different. I found something that offers an alternative. The ladies make fame, fortune, and beauty all seem perfect. Jeffree Star, on the other hand, makes it look dark and dirty. I've listened to him in the past. Lollipop Luxury, Straight Boys, and Plastic Surgery Slumber Party are amazing. I just downloaded his new album, Beauty Killer, this afternoon. It's friggin' amazing - one of the best (aside from Mariah's Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel) that I've bought in a long time.

It's dark and gritty and violent. It has the same subject as Lady Gaga's The Fame, but a totally different spin on the topic. Beauty Killer is about the pain and struggle associated with fame. Read the lyrics:

"Sew up your self-esteem, it's fantastic

Your body can't move, paralyzed and plastic

Being real is so sarcastic

When you're dead you'll be airbrushed in your casket

When you're famous, you're hot

Always something you're not

So keep on fucking but you'll never reach the top"

As someone who constantly goes to the gym in search for something that I'm pretty sure isn't at the gym, I can totally relate. We struggle so much for perfection and beauty, but it's a fight that no one can win. People want to be beautiful, but no one is perfect.

"I almost died, but it felt great.

Faking perfection wasn't worth the wait

I may be easy, easy to hate

But you're so fucking easy, easy to break"

I love this honest and new view on life. People are vain and shallow and empty and broken. I'm one of those people. Jeffree has a cynical, destructive, and refreshing attitude. He's so confident in himself, which is something I'd love to be able to emulate. He's so different and doesn't care what people think of him. I love how he exposed the ugliness behind the scenes. He's sound is so dirty and raunchy and pained at some times, and yet it's set to a fun, club beat. I love the ugliness behind the search for beauty.

"But that look is lying

Fake smiles, let's pretend

Everyone acts like they're my friend

Build up, knock down, that's the trend I'm not buying it"

Award for Intention

I, along with most Americans, was shocked that President Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize. He's only been in office a little over a year and the application was submitted when he had only been in office for two weeks. That's a short time frame to change the world and deserve such a prestigious award. Nelson Mandela ended apartheid in South Africa, Mother Theresa devoted her life to helping the sick and the poor, and Mikhail Gorbachev helped tear down the Berlin Wall and reunited Germany. These are all worthy causes that have made the world a better place. What are Obama's accomplishments?

Exactly. Guantanamo Bay is still open. We're still at WAR (kinda the opposite of PEACE) in Afghanistan and Iraq. He hasn't done anything of worth mentioning in his first year in office, aside from kill a fly on TV and pick a first dog. Oh yeah, he's also fighting (and will be fighting forever) for his healthcare program. He hasn't done anything, which makes him reminiscent of George W. Bush. In fact, I think he's worse because he made so many grand promises and now he's going back on all of them. He told the LGBT community that we had a friend in the White House. At this point, friends isn't exactly how I would describe our relationship.

The thing that makes me angry the most is that no one can talk about Obama's shortcomings. If you criticize him, you're racist. It's ridiculous. I hate how when it was announced, I saw black people cheering for him. They probably don't even know what the Nobel Peace Prize is. That's not a racist comment - I don't know much about it either. It's this blind faith that people (white and black) put in our leaders.

And when I pointed out the evidence that Obama is not deserving, I kept seeing the same response. Everyone says that he's GOING to do all these great things. Perfect! I hope he does. But he hasn't yet and good intentions don't really count for anything. I think people need to wake up and stop putting blind faith in Obama. When / if he comes through on his promises, I will be the first to support him. But until he does, I'm going to remain cynical.

Ick on the Subway

I'm a major proponent for mass transit. It's environmentally friendly, quick and cheaper than having to pay for parking, gas and insurance. Yes, I support mass transit. However, today was different. I took the 4 from 96th all the way down to 23rd street. It was the longest (mentally) ride on the subway of my life.

At first, I thought I was gonna be lucky. I only had to wait a few minutes before the train arrived. It was a little crowded but nothing to bad...until we reached 86th when all these fairly attractive people got on. Now it was crowded and they made me feel bad about myself (which is an entirely different blog). We were crammed so tightly in the train and, to me, it felt like there was no A/C. I could feel the sweat running down my back...and not in a good way. Then the really pretty German tourist decided to move about an inch away from me. Her ponytail kept hitting me in the face and I didn't have enough room to reach into my pocket to turn up my iPod. This girl was so close to me that if she ends up pregnant, there's a chance it could be mine. Yes, that's how close we were.

Can't get worse, right? Wrong! Then around 51st or 42nd street, a whole clan of Indians got on (with their baby and a stroller). Now it can't get worse, right? Wrong! A Mexican was right behind them with a baby and a stroller. Are you fucking kidding me? Of course, neither of them bothered to fold up the stroller like the signs all say. I guess they can't read it because it's in English. I'm trying to relax and just listen to Mariah, but then I turn my head and get a nice whiff of the Indian guy. I think we all know it goes without saying that he did not smell like roses or fresh linen. At this point I was done trying to be nice. I did this like disgusted / mean / gay face (the same one that my mom makes when she's mad - I guess it's only gay when I do it). Ah well.

Finally, we get to my stop and I literally have to climb over and push people out of the way. Getting off the subway was the best feeling in the world. Normally, the subway is great! But today is was...ick.

Two Moments

I had two moments at work this past week that really resonated with me. I think they are the kind of moments that will stick with me for years. People always talk about pivotal life moments and think these two may those kind of experiences.

1) Dr. Sealfon and I were talking about a new clinical faculty's credentials. We've been having so many problems with getting the paperwork completed and organized, which really is Medical Staff Services' job. But he was telling me what we needed to do in order to get this new MD set so he can start practicing. Dr. Sealfon then gave me some fatherly advice or at least that is how it seemed to me. He said that people were incompetent and that only reason that his lab was so successful was because he bird-dogged (first time I've heard that expression) everyone all the time. You have to track things from one office to another because if something goes wrong, you know exactly where to go. It seemed like really good advice. People are stupid and if you have to rely on them, it's best to track their every move.

2) I had been trying to find this drug to use in a clinical trial. I need the components of the drug, not the drug itself. There are two parts and they are combined into one pill when it's sold. That doesn't work for what I need. After emailing a woman back and forth for about 6 weeks, I finally got the confirmation that she can get the drug from a Finnish manufacturer. I'm still working out the details, but I figured I had enough to finally let Dr. Sealfon know. When I told him, he actually clapped, jumped up and down and exclaimed some version of "yippee". I was really happy! I usually feel like I don't make much of a difference, but he made it clear that this would go to help people. I'm not sure exactly how much I helped, but it really made me happy to make my boss so excited. After he went back to his office, Katherine smiled her big smile and clapped.

Ah, two great moments from Mt. Sinai.