Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Gambler

I immensely enjoyed my weekend at the Borgata, but I couldn't help but notice the other people. I'd wonder about the other people and think about their lives. We'd wake up, go to breakfast and see people sitting at slot machines, just pushing the buttons over and over. We'd finish playing video poker and head back to our room and see people hunched over at a blackjack table. Seeing them made me sad.

Sure, it's possible (and probable) that they we're enjoying in the same adrenalin rush that I was. But, I couldn't help but wonder if they were lonely. The entire casino floor had a grand, but empty feeling. I know that my grandfather gambled a lot (and lost a lot) after the death of my grandmother. I can't help but see the people at the machines in the same way. I see them and wonder if they're just playing to fill an emptiness. Are they missing someone? Do they have nothing else to beside sit alone at a game? Are they addicted to the feeling of putting $20 bills into the machines? How does that affect their family? God, I need to stop. It's exhausting being inside my head.

After a day of lounging, eating and gambling, it was nice to relax in the hotel room with my head resting on Antonio's chest. It's nice to finally not be lonely.

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