Digging Deeper

First, I'd like to note that this blog is not meant to come across as though I'm complaining. This is meant to be a very practical, yet personal account of the all-too-familiar twentysomething feeling of being broke.

We've been in our new apartment for 6 days. Slowly the place is starting to shape up. We now have blinds in our rooms, a microwaves, cable and internet, and air conditioners. It's finally starting to feel like home. But, I've noticed that it still has that empty echo. We still need furniture for the living room - that's the only room that is really lacking. We agreed that I'd buy the couch and Spencer would be the big, flat-screen TV.

I've made a budget and should have enough money each to live comfortable (should be the operative word). I've taken into account just about everything, including student loans and my Metrocard. Of course, this budget doesn't consider credit card minimum payments or saving. Saving money? Do people really do that? Once we're settled, I should be fine.

But right now is rough. Right now we have no furniture and I don't see a way of buying furniture. Having two credit cards that are almost maxed out is a scary feelings. Granted, I can make a payment to Chase and bring it down. It still makes me feel like I'm in a hole that I can't dig myself out of. I know myself. I like to spend money and I can rationalize anything. If I'm really thirsty, I can justify Jamba Juice. If I'm tired and don't feel like cooking, I'll tell myself that I deserve to order from Pita Grill. It's hard to find things that I can cut out. Sure, I do make some irresponsible purchases at H&M of Barnes and Noble from time to time. But mostly I just buy groceries and I feel like in order to build the body I want, I have to eat.

I know this feeling of helplessness and hopelessness comes and goes. But, right now, as I sit on the air mattress in my new room, I can't help but feel trapped. This is New York and I'm only 23 with an entry-level job (for now), so I know this is all normal. I just find it hard to distinguish between the life that I have and the one that I want to be able to afford.