Sunday, March 14, 2010

Haunted

I've done what I think was right. Was it? Maybe. Maybe not. It's been about a month since I've spoken with him. I've noticed that I seem to be doing more - going on dates, movies, hanging with friends and just enjoying life. But, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Does he think about me? What is he doing? How is he doing?

I can try to push the thoughts out of my head. And when you use your iPod to drown out your thoughts, it works pretty well. But, I can't escape at night. It's weird, I've had two really vidid dreams about him...and her in the past week. The memories are so vivid. The smell of his skin. The taste of his kiss. The look in his eyes. It's a blessing and a curse - to have such wonderful memories and know that they are exactly that, memories. The past. Something you'll never experience again.

I guess, and hope, that things will get better in time. But, I'll admit that I also still hope that one day he'll just show up at my office or apartment. That's never going to happen, and I know the wishful thinking doesn't help, but I can't help it.

Kelly Clarkson's "Haunted" is an amazing song. It so passionately shows the feeling of pain and loss when that one person walks away...or is taken away.

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