Saved and Ashamed

This guy, let's call him Brandon (primarily because that's his real name), added me on facebook after Quest, which was the summer of 2006. He told me how much he liked me and how cute he thought I was. We texted back and forth occasionally throughout my senior year - pretty raunchy at times. He told me that he loved me, which was kinda awkward since we never kissed, went on a date, or saw each other after Quest. Eventually he thought that being my friend without dating me would be too painful, so he defriended me.

Then, a few days ago I received this message through facebook:

"i know that its been such a long time........i want to tell you that some amazing things have been happening in my life. first and foremost i have gotten saved and accepted the grace of god into my life, while i'm pretty sure we've talked about this i'd like to tell you that you have been a good friend and someone that i do care about and as such i'd like to see you find the same thing i have if for no other reason than just to see you in heaven someday......jesus is the only way and all that has to be done is to just have faith that he can forgive you of your sins and thats all it takes to be forgiven.........i hope that you'll at least consider what i'm saying, because I'm not saying in any way shape or form that I'm better that anyone, I'm saying that I care enough about you that I want to pass on this gift, the gift of eternal life......I'm babbling and I hope my point has gotten across because I feel like this isn't something that I can mess up as far as trying to tell someone how they can be saved, its an amazing thing, there's nothing else like it."

Um...Wow. Now let's be clear, I have no problem with Christianity. While I am not a follower, I can understand the comfort and reassurance that the faith provides. In fact, my issue has nothing to do with the message itself because I believe that it was sent with good intentions. My issue is that in discovering Jesus, he lost a huge part of himself. I looked at his profile and he changed his interests to women. Now, considering this guy sent me some of the most sexually explicit texts I've ever received, his newfound interested in the vagina confused me.

This self-denial and self-hatred makes me sad and angry. Such a blatant and forced 180 degree turn is such an obvious ploy at being "normal". I always wondered what parents think when their child come out and then are so easily convinced that they are not gay. How does that conversation go?

Child: "I'm gay.”
Parent: "That's wrong. You're not gay".
Child: "Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not gay".

So many of my friends from Radford are strong Christians, but still respect the rights and differences of others. My respect for Christians has increased so much having met these people. It's the Christians who believe that homosexuality is something one can change with therapy and Bible study that make me so angry. For one person to stand at a pulpit and argue I, personally, believe that God makes everyone exactly as his intends them to be. I know that I am happy with who I am and know that I can take comfort in the fact that I will never know the pain of denial and shame.