Hunger

I find myself with this overwhelming need for contact with another person. I'm not talking about sex. I just want to feel something with someone. I feel like I've been so closed off lately. It's kind of hard to explain.

I was riding the subway a few weeks ago and the car was packed. We were all squished together and I could feel the people around me. It felt so good just to have someone be so close to me. It's weird. If someone puts their hands on my shoulders or hugs me or makes any physical connection, my heart starts racing.

I love New York, but you always have to be guarded. You have to watch out for your wallet and watch out for people. I just want to let the walls down and feel. I don't want to have sex with anyone (well, maybe one person). I just want to feel someone's fingers on skin. A kiss. Something that will make me feel human and not like a robot. I want to be vunerable and still.